Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
