You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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