It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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