i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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