how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
