U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
