I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
