i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
