wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
