If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
