My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
