I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
