What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
