I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
This baby is an asshole
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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