what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
