how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
