So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
