so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
