That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
