This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
