apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
