I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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