no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
