I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
