Umm I'm too high to move.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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