Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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