i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
