You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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