the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
