i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
