Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
