im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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