distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Hippo gnu deer
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
