Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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