So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
