I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
