Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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