I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
