He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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