ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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