lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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