So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
