Yo dont text me then not text me
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
