If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
jump out the window naked night went bad
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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