Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
