North Korea, Best Korea!
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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