When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Randomize
