I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
