This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
