Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
you made out with another girl for some wings
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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