New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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